Dear Mr. DeVos

[TheREALBrooksThompson 157]

Hello there,

 

You do not know me. I am but a lowly anonymous paying customer of the NBA basketball team you own, the Orlando Magic. As far as you are concerned, I am lower than dirt. I accept this. But I have been a loyal fan of the Magic since the franchise began play in 1989, and as such I believe I am responsible for approximately 10% of all the profit you have ever made from this team over the years. I mean, I've been to a lot of games and I must have bought like six or seven jerseys over the years. I even enjoy a wide range of fine Amway products because I love the team so much. That's a lot of money. So I'd really appreciate it if you were to read this and address my concerns directly. I deserve it.

 

Look, I only make $25k a year at my real job. That's only a tiny fraction of what you and your players make (a fact which I find completely outrageous), but it's what people in the real world earn with hard work like real people. You're not a real person with a real job, so you wouldn't know this, but it's hard to take a huge chunk of that money and spend nearly all of it on a sports obsession of questionable sanity. But I do it anyway because I live vicariously through athletes and encourage my children to do the same. It's the unifying principle upon which this great country was founded. I even go the extra mile to show my dedication by referring to the team as "we" in all situations. Come on.

 

I am a simple man. I like cold beer, fast women (bam!) and, of course, sports. Particularly NBA basketball. I've been watching basketball games from my couch and from your cozy arenas new and old (which I also payed for with my tax dollars, ingrate) for well over 20 years. I know a great deal about all aspects of basketball, including what a player should do in any game situation, what a coach should do in any game or practice situation, anything and everything that could possibly be related to the office of General Manager, and also a great deal about the business side of it as well.

 

Given all of this information, my question to you is this: Why aren't you listening to me and doing all the things I think you should be doing? Frankly, sir, it baffles me that you run this franchise so poorly. The roster is terrible. The coach yells too much. The GM can barely manage to tie his shoes in the morning, much less pull off a ludicrously lopsided trade that will bring another superstar to Orlando. And sometimes I get the feeling that all your real focus in owning this team is to make a profit, not to provide the great citizens of Orlando with the championship basketball team they obviously deserve. I feel bad making that accusation, but you leave with no choice.

 

Lately I feel like this whole team is crumbling into oblivion. My brain strives to establish patterns and trends, so as a result of losing in the Finals, then the Conference Finals, then the first round, I am forced to conclude that we will miss the playoffs this year. That's unacceptable. This team is literally regressing. It's getting so bad that I've even begun to project my own feelings of inadequacy and anger and fear onto the team's superstar, Dwight Howard. I used to love him so much. But much like a jealous lover, I'm starting to hear that he has his eye on another franchise which leaves me absolutely no choice but to turn into a hopelessly vindictive ******* so that I might feel better about myself. After all, if it's not Orlando's fault that Dwight chooses to leave, and I can convince myself and others that he's a horrible human being who is doing all of this simply to torture the people of Orlando because that's a cool thing do and Shaq did it once, I'll feel a lot better about myself and my city. And the NBA is engaged in some kind of conspiracy to put all the big stars in big cities or something to that effect.

 

What I'm trying to say to you is please please PLEASE fix this mess, sign Dwight and CP3, continue to outspend most other teams in the same way that I accuse Boston and LA of doing, and bring Orlando a championship for the first time. Without it, I feel like a lesser human being. No. Without an NBA championship trophy in Orlando, I am a lesser human being. And so are you and Dwight and Stan and Otis and everyone else who I assume doesn't really want to win and couldn't care less about real people with real jobs like me. I am the Orlando Magic and you will do exactly what I think is best or I will come back to this message board an throw a sanctimonious tantrum about it.

 

Thank you sir and good day.

[Thimble 3]

That's smart, tell him he isn't a real person and tell him he doesn't know what it's like spend an insane amount of money on a sports team. (Have you seen our cap lately?)

 

Your paper gets an F

[NittanyBuc 757]

That's smart, tell him he isn't a real person and tell him he doesn't know what it's like spend an insane amount of money on a sports team. (Have you seen our cap lately?)

 

Your paper gets an F

That part is called "being facetious" and "making a mockery".

 

I appreciated it.

[Fultz4thewin 2,464]

Somebody should write a letter to stuff

[petey 3]

My post count is less then yours, I joined well after you, I probably dont read the boards as often and I get that...... The beginning of your post sounds like the start of a socialist class warfare essay but thats just IMO. I am sure if it was that easy to just fix this mess it would have been done, if RDV had some sort of magic wand he could just wave and get CP3 it would have been waved and waved hard. I am a die hard Magic fan aswell, I will forever scream at the TV if we are 82-0 or 0-82. I support RDV in everything he does with the franchise (unless its moving them) they have brought me so many good memories. He does not run his franchise poorly it has ups and downs just like any business. Dwight years have spoiled some of us and we need to remember where we have come from, no matter whos here or whos not continue united support for the team and city it represents. I do agree Otis screwed up tho lol

[Miller4Prez66 545]

Somebody should write a letter to stuff

 

Didn't the Magic fire him during the lockout? How was this not included in the letter to DeVos?

[BMP 424]

That was beautiful.

[cspalding22 3]

The coach yells too much?? Are you serious? If you claim to know so much about NBA basketball and game situations, then why make that comment?

[Ibn Battuta 127]

The coach yells too much?? Are you serious? If you claim to know so much about NBA basketball and game situations, then why make that comment?

 

:shard:

[Ibn Battuta 127]

dear therealbrooksthompson,

 

I'M RICH B*ITCH!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBgIlaTC0vo&autoplay=1

 

signed,

 

rich devos

[TheREALBrooksThompson 157]

My post count is less then yours, I joined well after you, I probably dont read the boards as often and I get that...... The beginning of your post sounds like the start of a socialist class warfare essay but thats just IMO. I am sure if it was that easy to just fix this mess it would have been done, if RDV had some sort of magic wand he could just wave and get CP3 it would have been waved and waved hard. I am a die hard Magic fan aswell, I will forever scream at the TV if we are 82-0 or 0-82. I support RDV in everything he does with the franchise (unless its moving them) they have brought me so many good memories. He does not run his franchise poorly it has ups and downs just like any business. Dwight years have spoiled some of us and we need to remember where we have come from, no matter whos here or whos not continue united support for the team and city it represents. I do agree Otis screwed up tho lol

 

I appreciate the response and I apologize if I came off as a little bit too angry. I take sports very seriously and what this franchise has turned into really chafes my hide sometimes.

 

I can assure you that I am no socialist. I'm a red-blooded American just like everyone else. I can see where parts of my letter might lead you to conclude that I have socialist class warfare tendencies, but the difference is that I'm not directing that covetous anger at Wall Street or American businesses in general, only at professional athletes. If a man works hard and becomes the CEO of a large corporation, I feel he is entitled to earn as much money as the profits of his business will allow. That's the American way. However, if some thug decides to quit school early and play a basketball game for money instead of getting a real job, it's really going to upset me that he makes more money than I do, and I will rally against that with every fiber of my being.

 

Professional athletes have become spoiled. They should make no more than $75k per year, they should have no "right" to free agency or anything like that, and they shouldn't be paid additional millions to wear a shoe or drink Gatorade or whatever it is they do. That's not socialism, that's being a good American and wishing everything were exactly the same as it was in the 1950s. I certainly will not apologize for that.

[AcuWill 45]

I appreciate the response and I apologize if I came off as a little bit too angry. I take sports very seriously and what this franchise has turned into really chafes my hide sometimes.

 

I can assure you that I am no socialist. I'm a red-blooded American just like everyone else. I can see where parts of my letter might lead you to conclude that I have socialist class warfare tendencies, but the difference is that I'm not directing that covetous anger at Wall Street or American businesses in general, only at professional athletes. If a man works hard and becomes the CEO of a large corporation, I feel he is entitled to earn as much money as the profits of his business will allow. That's the American way. However, if some thug decides to quit school early and play a basketball game for money instead of getting a real job, it's really going to upset me that he makes more money than I do, and I will rally against that with every fiber of my being.

 

Professional athletes have become spoiled. They should make no more than $75k per year, they should have no "right" to free agency or anything like that, and they shouldn't be paid additional millions to wear a shoe or drink Gatorade or whatever it is they do. That's not socialism, that's being a good American and wishing everything were exactly the same as it was in the 1950s. I certainly will not apologize for that.

Do your part then and stop feeding the animal.