Zeek

Hey guys! I finally got a new job, the good folks at RDV have put me in charge of the website. Today is my first day, how am I doing so far?

**Gong Crash** Nobody knows, the trouble I've seen, Nobody knows my sorrow. I heard you talking about me Yahoo news! Well, I think I may have made a few mistakes. See I was using a payroll calculator that was set up for payout in Pesos. I probably should have checked on that, yeah, that would have been a good idea. Well, The Bucks?, The Sonics?, The Bulls? The Bulls have 3 pg's right now, I think I could do pretty well there. Ah well, how about 1 last trade idea before I get to work on my resume? Ok, you send me JJ and his fanatical fans and Carlos and his fanatical fans and I will use them to create a propaganda machine so powerful that it completely erases any mistakes that I may have made in the past. In return I will give you Magic fans my championship rings and the "S" off my last name thereby allowing me to be known as Isiah Thoma from this day forth. What do you think?

quote: Originally posted by Hutchence: quote: Originally posted by Marc Acres 3:16: quote: Originally posted by Magic Fan 4 Life:Udonis stinks. Why does everybody want him. I can understand LaMarcus Aldridge, but Udonis Haslem. You guys need to watch basketball. How is he any different than Horace Grant was with Shaq? That is basically what you are looking at, a guy that is perfectly suited to playing with a big center. Marc, don't you know that you can't consider how a guy could be suited with the team? Everything is about player A being better than player B. We don't need a good team, we just need a bunch of really good players. See now that's what I'm talking about. This is obviously a broad that understands how a team is constructed. I have an opening for a secreta..uhum administrative assistant and I could use a honey like you. Any interest?

Did somebody say trade??

**Gong Crashes** I heard you mention my name Alan Hahn and Bhnole! It takes a big man to admit when he is wrong, and I am that big man. You see, I thought I needed 5 pg's. It turns out I only needed 4! You will all see first hand tonight just how awesome our team is! Our frontline will devour your team! You all mentioned that I didn't have the pieces to make a trade for Rashard happen. HAHA! I laugh at you small minded individuals! The other day Dolan and I were discussing just how stacked we are while we played a rousing round of smack our secretary's on their sweet little fannies. Look at our roster! It's a thing of beauty, if you judge it on nothing else other than metric tonnage Curry and Randolph make us very scary. All I need to do is complete 1 more trade and my plan for league domination is complete! You send me Jareth Cutestory's beard, the Orena Chicken Tender Basket (w/fots), Adonal Foyle's recipe for chocolate salty balls, and the talented young lady in Hutchence's avatar. In return I will send you a video collection including "Randolph Morris's Adventures Through The Windsheild Glass, Stephon Marbury's "Interns Gone Wild," and "Eddy Curry's 101 Ways To Prepare A Tub Of Crisco." What do you Magic fan's think?

**Gong crash** What's up B******!! I heard Live or Die, Bhnole, and Jurors 1-12 talking about me! I know many of you have been worried about what will happen to good old Zeek. Well, I'm here to let you know that Zeek will be just fine, I've been keeping my pimp hand strong. I booted a couple of my Ho's....err administrative assistants in their booty and I feel much better now. You see sometimes when a man is in charge (LOL, I had to laugh at that, men are always in charge!)he needs to let his ******* know who is the boss. Just the other day my intern brought me coffee with 3 sugars in it instead of 4, I grabbed a whole pot of boiling coffee and threw it all over her french maid outfit (standard uniform for all Garden hoochies..err interns). After that she knew that when I say 4 sugars I mean 4 sugars! I sent her back out to finish my laundry and cook me lunch where she belongs, in the kitchen. We were completely justified in firing our head marketing ho. I mean how are we supposed to rebuild the Knicks with her poll dancing every draft day? How the heck do you think we ended up drafting Nate Robinson? At least our Swedish housekeeping staff has the good sense to wait until after the draft to feed me and Dolan grapes and fan us with palm fronds, this is a serious business and we need to be respected at all times. Look I know everyone has heard about how we condone players doing the horizontal mambo with Garden interns, it's true but how else are we supposed to stay competitive personel wise? Cuban is sneaking cameras into the dressing rooms at Dancing with the Stars and providing pic's of the dancers to his players, I just don't have that kind of pull. Poor Steph was having such a hard time finding singles for the strip clubs that he had to sell his shoes for $14 bucks! Have you ever tried to go to a strip club and ask them to break a thousand dollar bill?

**Thunder Clap followed by Gong Crash** Who dares disturb the great and all knowing Zeek?!! I heard all of you talking about me! While all of you have been trying to find the right pieces for your teams, I have been amassing talent in order to trade away!! Muhahahahahaa!!!! The Lakers need a PG, well, I have 5 of them on my roster right now!! I am the Walmart of the PG world! Kobe is as good as mine, Rashard as good as mine! He came to me folks, I have the pieces in place right now that will take us to the top. Watch this....BAM! I just taught Jared Jeffries a cross over move, helped Eddy Curry lose 20lbs of fat and hired 4 new secretaries to harass! It's all about multi-tasking and believe me I got skillz. All that is left is 1 more trade to complete my re-birth of the Knicks juggernaught! Let me know what you Magic fans think... I will send you Kelvin Cato and Jerome James, You send me Billy Donovan's Strawberry Shortcake undies, Brian Hill's titanium clipboard, Jameer's elevator shoes (Nate is in much more need of them), Fishybashi's little black book of hot chicks to date in the Orlando area, and Athena and Hutchence's...resume's. What do you think?

quote: Originally posted by Pistons:I'll take being in the hunt for a championship every year and only winning one, than being in the lottery for 4 years in a row, and then getting swept out of the first round any day. How did the Magic do when they had Shaq and actually were in the hunt for a title? They didn't win. You act like winning 50+ games and losing in the ECF and Finals and only winning 1 Finals is a negative. The Magic and Cleveland fans are the same, just saying the future will be good for them. Only losing franchises say how good they WILL be, not how good they are. The Pistons will not be in the lottery with Joe Dumars running the ship, he isn't Isaiah Thomas. **Gong Crashes** I heard you mention my name "Pistons!!" Where is the love man? I remember back in the day you used to have a stuffed Isiah edition my buddy doll and slept in Isiah pajamas. Now, I'm no Joe D? I was the ALPHA baby! I was the king! Joe D was Robin, I was Batman! I will bring the Knicks back from the ashes and crush the Pistons. Starting with this trade, let me know what you think... We will give you Eddy Curry, David Lee and Channing Fry. You send us Lake Michigan, 100 Ford Fusions, and Robocop. I will convert him to a pass first PG and we will mow down the rest of the NBA faster than you can say Ed-209! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

I'll trade all of my viable assets and my cap flexibility and draft picks for the next 10 yrs for every available undersized scoring PG in the league!!...uh....oh

Here is a nice picture of me doing what I do best!....Hey, what tha! Alright who is the wise guy that messed with my picture??!! FRANCIS!!!!!!!

quote: Originally posted by The Dude Abides:I heard rumors that Zeek gave it a 10 day contract somewhere???? **Gong Crash** I heard you mention my name Dude Abides!! We ordered the leg as a way to showcase Stephons shoes. With Lebron giving him so much crap about the shoes we felt it was time to up their exposure. The shoes are only $15 so we couldn't buy a fake leg, we had to settle for organ donor parts. Speaking of spare parts, Dr. Frankenstein, you were suposed to finish up with Penny 2.0 about a month ago, we are in the middle of a playoff race here, get to work! Hmmmm, in the meantime, I have a pre-offseason trade for you Orlandiegans, let me know what you think. We will send you our #1 draft picks for the next 5 yrs, a lifetime supply of "Just for Men" hair coloring (endorsed by our very own Walt "Clyde" Frazier), Larry Browns set of matched luggage, and the secret to the Jedi mind trick I used on Dolan to get him to give me that extension. You send us Diener, Arroyo, Dooling, the antidote to Turko-flu and Brian Hill's royalty checks from "Willow" (You are the greatist swordsman that ever lived!! I love that movie!) What do you all think?

Dude Abides, this is legitimate! You are questioning my and Nate's integrity? Nate Robinson, would never sully his good name by faking something as serious as this. I think we all know that Nate always thinks things through very carefully before acting.

We had Nate Robinson hiding in your huddle and he was able to snap this single photograph of the incident...

**Gong Crash** I heard everyone talking about me!!! I have sat in silence long enough while you Orlandians had fun at my exspence and at the exspence of the great NY Knicks! I personally witnessed Brian Hill paying off the refs before the game. I also saw him lean over to Dwight with a sinister grin on his face and say "sweep the shot." Pat Garrity cackled in the back ground "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA GET HIM A BODY BAG!!!!!!!!" I know you people fear the championship machine that is my Knicks, we can play any style 1 on 1 2 on 2, Horse, Around the World. I have a play book full of isolation plays that would make Brian Hill's head spin! You all were just frightened of seeing us in the playoffs! You may have struck me down but I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!!! You are merely delaying the inevitable return of the Knicks to greatness! I will have the #1 pick soon and I will trade it in order to select multiple point guards!! Gabe Pruitt, Aaron Brooks, Bobby Brown, Dominic James, they will all be mine further strengthening the greatist collection of point guards known to man!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I was robbed! Just another example of the NBA trying to keep me down! First MJ and Bird keep me off the Dream Team and now this! That's fine, I'm not mad, that just means I am one step closer to the top pick in the draft!! I've sent 12 dozen roses to Kevin Durant! I am gonna sign top college players one at a time, today Randolph Morris...tomorrow Brandon Wright!!! Muhahahahahahaha!